Seatbelt Theater
by Tori Yuki Ichimura
Summary: Just waht it says. A series of Gundam Wing ficlets revolving around what else? Seatbelts! The first one is [based] on a true story!


**Tori: ***frantically shuffles through the papers on her desk*

**Kegawa: **Let's observe random but indisputably true facts facts!

**Tori: ***checks drawers*

**Ke: **The sky is blue…

**Tori: ***on hands and knees under desk*

**Ke: **The grass is green…

**Tori: ***peers into cabinets*

**Ke: **Elvis is dead…

**Tori: ***rifles through things on shelves*

**Ke: **And Tori is a moron… *folds paws and smiles serenely*

**Tori: **I LOST MY PLANE TICKET!!! *strangles Ke* WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MY PLANE TICKET!?!?!?

**Ke: **No!-Thing!

**Seatbelt Theater**

         "One day, Quatre was walking through the desert," narrated Duo as he pulled a beige seatbelt from the crack between the seat and its back. "And Trowa was driving by in his humongous six-people-across truck." Here he picked up the second green seatbelt and made it bounce past the first one.

         "Then Quatre fell over because he was hot and thirsty." The beige seatbelt went limp in his hand. "So Trowa jumps out of the truck and they start-"

         "DUO!" Quatre yelled, snatching the seatbelts away when Duo started banging them together. The braided boy pouted, and poked his index fingers together dejectedly. The Arabian turned his back on him.

         "Relena was walking along the Sanq campus one day and Duet was stomping by in her Gundam when-"

         "QUATRE!" Relena and Duet cried and whirled around in their seats to glare at him.

**Duo's Drive**

         "IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE WAY I'M DRIVING, GET OFF THE SIDEWALK!!!" Duo yelled, leaning out the drivers side window and shaking his fist at a couple of kids walking home from school. He pulled his head back in and closed the window again, only to discover too late that his braid was still outside.

         "ITAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" he cried and frantically felt for the 'window: down' button. He found it after a few seconds and pressed it, only to discover it was the 'Unlock' button. By some incredibly bad luck, his hip grazed the door handle and it swung open, taking the Deathscythe pilots with it.

         "AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he screamed, still managing to steer with his foot as he hung half-way out the door, attached to the window by his braid. Curiously, his foot was doing a better steering job than his hand had been doing as was testified by the fact that he only hit one squirrel and one seagull as opposed to throngs of people. 

         As he flailed his arms, he accidentally hit the 'window: down' button. His braid was released, but relief was fleeting as his foot caught in the seatbelt and he was dragged along side the car. "WAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!" Duo yelped, shouting a new and creative curse every time he bounced on the pavement.

         Suddenly, a familiar moss-brown head appeared in the doorway and regarded him with mild interest. Then, the car sped up, still dragging Duo, only now it managed to keep between the yellow lines and the curb by some miraculously talented steering.

         "HEE-CHAN!!! SLOW! DOWN! AND! LET! ME! IN!"

**Seatbelts In Gundams?**

         Relena yawned and turned a page in the magazine lying on the floor in front of her. She swung her feet in the air and chewed on the tip of her index finger.

         "See anything you like?" Hilde asked, peering over her shoulder.

         "Quite a bit, actually…" she replied.

         "WHAT ARE YOU READING!?" the German girl cried and yanked the magazine away from her. It opened conveniently to the centerfold of Duet. With a twitch of her eyebrow, the girl yanked out the picture, stuffed it in her pocket, and set fire to the rest of the magazine.

         "What have you got there…?" Dorothy purred, sauntering past her, the piece of paper in her hand. She un-crinkled it and gasped.

         "DUET!!!" three voices chorused and the un-braided girl stepped out of the kitchen for a moment.

         "I didn't know you had to wear seatbelt in your Gundams…" Hilde murmured and when Duet looked confused she held up the picture.

         "That's all I wear in my Gundam. Gives OZ a bit of a shock, too," she replied with an evil smirk.

**Are You Wearing Your Shoulder Belt?**

         Heero sped down the freeway, eyes focused only on the road ahead of him. In the passengers seat, Duet clutched onto anything sturdy within her grasp. The car was going a bit to fast, even for her. The Perfect Soldier noted this and swerved wildly to pull onto the shoulder of the road.

         He leaned in close, lips almost grazing her cheek, when she gave a sudden cry of surprise. His hand went to her neck… and past.

         "You're not wearing your shoulder belt…" he deadpanned, and grabbed the seat belt, clicking it into place.

~*~*~*~*~*~

**Tori: **FOUND IT! I'M LEAVING FOR THE STATES WEDNESDAY!!! ^_______________^ I can't wait to see everyone again!

**Ke: **I'm sure they can wait to see you…

**Tori: **Duo was actually doing that little narrative thing with the seatbelts on a bus ride to a conference in NY…

**Ke: **`(-_-)' I remember…

**Tori: **And the last one was from when I was watching The Glass House with some friends of mine in NJ last summer…


End file.
